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Psychology

As You Think, So You Are

January 31, 2021 by Magna Porterfield

As You Think So Your Are

Do you ever think about your thoughts? Most of us don’t. But evidence indicates that how we think can impact our feelings, our behavior, and even our bodies. If you were to one day record all of your thoughts, what would you discover? You might be surprised at what you found. What we think reveals much about who we are. This is why the wise man Solomon stated thousands of years ago that “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”1) The Bible, Proverbs 23:7, KJV. Professionals and laypeople alike are learning more about thoughts and their effect on how we live and who we are. Let’s look at some specific areas in our lives that are directly linked to our thinking patterns.

Thoughts and Emotions

Our emotions are directly related to how we think. When I was in private practice, my clients would frequently say that they “felt” a certain way because of what someone said or did to them or because of a certain situation or event that had occurred in their lives. Many of us have uttered statements such as “He made me feel mad” or “I felt sad because she wouldn’t do such and such.” It is true that as human beings we do have an impact on one another’s feelings. However, the idea that other people or situations “make us” feel a certain way is not completely accurate. Simply put, it is not what happens to us that controls how we feel, but our thoughts about what happens that affects our emotions. For example: an acquaintance who typically speaks to you passes by you without acknowledgement. How you feel about this situation is not determined so much by that person’s behavior, as by what you tell yourself about his or her behavior. If you say to yourself, “I can’t believe that she didn’t speak to me!” or “Why is he ignoring me?” you are more likely to feel hurt, angry, or rejected. However, if you give the person the benefit of the doubt and choose to consider that maybe he did not see you, or perhaps she was preoccupied with something, you will be less likely to experience negative emotions. Psychologists and other mental health professionals apply this principle with a treatment known as cognitive behavior therapy, a method that teaches individuals how to identify and replace their distorted thinking patterns with healthful ones. When we experience anger, sadness, happiness or excitement, we can ask ourselves, “What was I thinking that might have contributed to this emotion?”

Thoughts and Behavior

“Sow a thought, reap an action …..” This simple proverb accurately describes the connection between our thoughts and actions. What we tend to plant in our minds, will germinate, grow, bud, flower, and bear fruit—in word and deed! To illustrate, let’s refer back to the example just given. If we believe that the person who didn’t speak to us is ignoring us, we may choose to ignore her the next time that we see her. Or, if we decide to put the kindest construction on her actions, and consider that she may have been preoccupied or experiencing some difficulty, we may instead say a prayer for her or give her a call to see if we can be of help in any way.

A phone call to a friend - Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

The understanding that our thoughts affect our actions is also applied by those in the mental health field. For example, during the time that I worked with sexual offenders, an important part of their treatment program involved teaching them how their thoughts contributed to their acts of sexual molestation. With the use of cognitive-behavioral therapy, we would help them to identify the thoughts that had led them to commit acts of abuse, and then teach them how to replace these thoughts with more healthful ones. This principle is also used to address other psychological concerns such as depression, anxiety, and even relational issues of the marriage, family, workplace, classroom, or otherwise.

Thoughts and the Body

Consider the following: “Every time you think an angry thought, an unkind thought, a sad thought, your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel bad and activate your deep limbic system in the brain …. Think about the last time you were mad. How did your body feel? When most people are angry, their muscles become tense … the heart beats faster … hands sweat …. Your body reacts to every negative thought you have.”2) Amen, D., Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Three Rivers Press, NY, 1998.
It should be noted that the current author does not agree with all the concepts promoted by Dr. Amen.
 

This quote describes how thoughts can affect our bodies. And if they impact our bodies, then it stands to reason that they will also affect our physical health. We are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that many of the illnesses from which people suffer are related to the activity of their minds, and especially, how they think. One inspired writer tells us that “few realize the power that the mind has over the body. A great deal of the sickness which afflicts humanity has its origin in the mind ….”3) White, E., Counsels on Health, p. 349. This connection is clearly seen in the area of stress. One person expressed it well when he stated that “What we think is killing us.”4) Howard, M., Seminar on “Burnout, Stress, and Fatigue.” In most situations, we experience stress not because of the situation or stressor itself, but because of how we react to the situation. Often times, uncontrolled stress can contribute to physical disease. A case in point is the example of a woman I knew who spent years thinking about and mulling over the death of another family member. This woman, even though she had a relatively healthful lifestyle, eventually died, perhaps prematurely, of cancer. One might wonder if her ongoing negative focus might have weakened her health. I may dare say that if she had recognized the power of her thoughts and chose to avoid negative ruminations, she might have been able to live a longer and more productive life.

The Truth of the Matter Regarding Thoughts

We are told that we “need to place a high value upon the control of our thoughts.”5) White, E., In Heavenly Places, p. 164. How can we do this? Psychology and other branches of mental health have made contributions in the area of thought control. But, as a psychologist myself, I must admit that the field of secular psychology offers only limited help. Any attempt that we make as mere humans to know and understand what is going on in our thought processes can only take us so far. This is because “the heart (hence, the mind) is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”6) The Bible, Jeremiah 17:9, KJV. In order to truly understand our thinking patterns, we must ask God to reveal this to us. And, beyond that, in order to change how we think, we need to address the root of the problem—the heart. Jesus tells us that out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”7) The Bible, Matthew 15:19, KJV. True, we can put forth human effort that may help us to be somewhat successful in changing our thoughts. But real, lasting change can only occur when our hearts are transformed and renewed by the Spirit of God. As did the psalmist David, we must ask God to “create in (us) a clean heart and renew a right spirit within (us).”8) The Bible, Psalm 51:10, KJV. If we do this, we can be assured that our thinking patterns will change for the better—from the inside out!

Meditation and prayer

We are told that “many thoughts make up the unwritten history of a single day; and these thoughts have much to do with the formation of character.”9) White, E., Messages to Young People, p. 144. This quote reminds us that the motivation for achieving good thinking habits is not only to gain optimal mental and physical health, but to help us develop right characters for this life and the life to come. And, lest we get overwhelmed with this reality, we must remember that with God’s power, all things are possible. He will provide the strength needed to think rightly. With this in mind, we can confidently ask God to help us follow the apostle Paul’s admonition: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise think on these things.”10) The Bible, Philippians 4:8, KJV.

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References[+]

↑1 The Bible, Proverbs 23:7, KJV.
↑2 Amen, D., Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Three Rivers Press, NY, 1998.
It should be noted that the current author does not agree with all the concepts promoted by Dr. Amen.
↑3 White, E., Counsels on Health, p. 349.
↑4 Howard, M., Seminar on “Burnout, Stress, and Fatigue.”
↑5 White, E., In Heavenly Places, p. 164.
↑6 The Bible, Jeremiah 17:9, KJV.
↑7 The Bible, Matthew 15:19, KJV.
↑8 The Bible, Psalm 51:10, KJV.
↑9 White, E., Messages to Young People, p. 144.
↑10 The Bible, Philippians 4:8, KJV.

Filed Under: Psychology, Thought Patterns

How Confidence Can Control Your Stress

December 6, 2020 by Martin Neumann

Have you noticed that some people are just thriving under stress while others passing through the same circumstances are at the brink of a collapse? Have you seen some people that are successful in everything they do, while others seem to go nowhere, while having the same opportunities? What makes the difference? It is Confidence!

How Confidence Can Control Your Stress

It’s a widely known fact that confident people are often successful in whatever endeavor they strive to accomplish. When you have confidence, you have the self-assurance that you have the ability to take control of your situation or circumstances.

Without confidence, you won’t fare as well in anything that you attempt to do. This is because a lack of confidence can alter the way that you make decisions. Without confidence, you compare yourself to others and you are scared to make the moves that will help you to advance.

If you have confidence, you will be finishing the race, while others are still too scared to pass the starting line. Many people have found success because they made bold moves driven by nothing more than the confidence they had.

You’ll find those stories all around you – how people risked everything they owned because they believed that they could start a business or risked their lives to take a solo sailing trip around the world.

Some people are natural leader personalities. They can influence the crowd, because they have the confidence that they are in charge of the situation.

While you can develop your confidence levels, there are two things that can impact your efforts negatively – those two things are stress and anxiety.

Anxiety

Anxiety is worrying about something that might happen or fretting about the eventual outcome of an event. This can also be defined as nervousness. You are fearful of something bad that could happen in the future. In extreme cases, anxiety can lead to a panic attack.

Besides depression, anxiety is the most common mental disorder. In most metropolitan areas, one in three persons is suffering from anxiety.1)A. J. Baxter et al, “Global prevalence of anxiety disorders: a systematic review and meta-regression”. Psychological Medicine (2013): 43(5),
897-910. DOI: 10.1017/S003329171200147X.

Anxious women - 
Photo by Ana Bregantin from Pexels

While anxiety is considered an excessive concern with the future, stress is an excessive concern with the present, and depression is often an excessive concern with the past. Many times all three of them tend to be interconnected. And low confidence levels will have a large influence in triggering those manifestations.

If two people both have to deal with the exact same kind of stress, you’ll have one person who will react with anxiety, while the other person won’t. And the reaction depends much on the behavioral actions from past circumstances.

Anxiety can be an emotional platform that stress lands on. The heavier the stress, the shakier the platform can become. But if you have enough confidence, the platform is able to handle the turbulence.

Since your emotional platform is how you go through life, you want to make sure that you can cope with whatever you have to deal with. If you have a higher anxiety level, it can cause you to have limited ability to cope.

If you have high anxiety, you’ll find that you often struggle to cope with things that someone with low anxiety can handle with ease. For example, in someone with high anxiety, having a financial upheaval could cause a lot of fear and many sleepless nights. In someone with low anxiety, it doesn’t – because they have the self-assurance that they’re going to be able to take care of whatever needs to be done.

High anxiety will sooner or later lead to negative thoughts, and negative thoughts will lead to negative emotions. When you’re caught up in a cycle of negative thinking and negative emotions that stem from anxiety, it impacts your confidence. It will start to erode your beliefs, the self-assurance that you’re as smart as or as capable as the next person of handling a circumstance, a job project, having a great relationship or anything else in life.

Handling Anxiety

When you feel your anxiety levels to rise, take a short break. Breath in deeply through your nose. Then breath out slowly through your mouth. This exercise will have a calming effect on your heart, and will help even to calm down your thoughts.

Deep breathing to control anxiety - 
Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels

Exercise can be very helpful as well. Whenever you exercise, your body releases endorphins, the feel good hormones that can lift your mood and calm anxiety. Even just five minutes of exercise can restore calmness.

A cheerful attitude or even laughter can go a long way to keep anxiety under control. You may have heard the saying that laughter is the best medicine. There’s a lot of truth behind that statement.

One way that you can lower your anxiety is by journaling. You can write out what you’re feeling and why. Detail how it makes you feel and take note of any similar circumstances that you may have dealt with in the past.

It can help to look back over what you have gone through and see that you were able to deal with it and move on. Avoid things that trigger a higher anxiety level in you. For some people, this means avoiding things that are shocking or upsetting.

This might be the evening news, or people who always seem to have a doom and gloom outlook on life that ends up bringing you down. If you know a situation is going to make you feel anxious, if you can avoid putting yourself in that situation, then do so.

Positive Stress

With all of the articles and books on combating stress, you might get the idea that any kind of stress was bad for you, and that’s simply not true. Stress can actually help you in many areas of your life.

Let´s think for example about a tailor who needs to deliver a dress by Friday. The day before she is working hard to deliver in time. She is focused, works with precision and efficiency and even forgets to eat her supper. Friday she delivers in time and is able to relax. A healthy level of stress has helped her to finish the task.

Or if you are stressed about your meager finances, you may decide to go after a better job. You push yourself forward, you make an effort and in the end, you reach the desired job you were looking for. In this case, stress acted as a motivator for positive change.

Stress will start to be negative when you feel that you are out of control, and you do not know how to handle the situation. Besides the magnitude of your challenges, your confidence levels will greatly determine whether you experience stress as a motivator or a traumatic mind crippling experience.

Getting Confidence

Our confidence levels and your belief system about our own capabilities is to a large degree formed during childhood. If you were brought up in a safe environment and felt you were encouraged to develop yourself, you have an enormous advantage over others, who may be carrying lots of limiting beliefs about themselves.

We are carrying a baggage of beliefs about ourselves, which can be helpful, undesired or even destructive. Many of those ingrained thoughts are based on our interpretation of past experiences, may they be positive or painful. It is possible to change this belief system about ourselves, but it will take some conscientious effort to do so.

In order to help you to change, you need to find a secure fortress that you can trust. If you feel you are in a protected place, you can develop the confidence level that you are in control and stress will be a motivator for you. This safe haven of trust is created by an atmosphere of genuine love.

Psalm 139 is for me one of the most profound descriptions of this needed environment of trust. The first part describes the all-knowledge of God:

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

Psalm 139:1-6

It is wonderful to know that there is nobody else who knows us on such an intimate level as God. He knows us and He understands us. There is no need to hide us behind masks, no need to fake something, we can be just the way we are. That gives us a basis for a relationship of trust.

Hiding - Photo by Anete Lusina from Pexels

The second part speaks of the all-presence of God:

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

Psalm 139:7-12

This text assures us, that it does not matter what we have done, no matter where we are or where we go, there is no place in the universe where God´s love is not able to reach us. This assurance, that wherever we are, He is able to take care of us, can give us an incredible confidence boost.

The third part is speaking about our all-powerful God that has created us:

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

Psalms 139:13-16

It is a great thing to know that God had a purpose for your life and He was seeing your future even before you were born.

If you can fully understand the way that God is taking care of you, then you have a foundation to build your confidence that is solid enough to withstand the trials around you. There may be difficulties all around you, but you can go forward with confidence that God is able to carry you through. What better foundation can you have to build up your confidence?

References[+]

↑1 A. J. Baxter et al, “Global prevalence of anxiety disorders: a systematic review and meta-regression”. Psychological Medicine (2013): 43(5),
897-910. DOI: 10.1017/S003329171200147X.

Filed Under: Attitude, Psychology, Spirituality, Stress Management

What Type of Stress Do You Suffer From?

January 4, 2017 by Martin Neumann

Angry young woman working on computer in office

When you feel overwhelmed and up against the wall, do you notice the old familiar headache or backache that you get in response to a stressful situation? Before you let it upset you, take time to think about what type of stress you’re feeling. [Read more…] about What Type of Stress Do You Suffer From?

Filed Under: Attitude, Psychology

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